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And seriously, how can you remake a movie without featuring the title character? Isn't that, you know, making another movie? Rob Zombie just knows original movies don't make money these days (Drag Me To Hell, for example) so he's just shamelessly hoping to get money off of name recognition.
He might try too hard and his stereotypes might get eye rolling, but at least it is not the pansy PG13 crap that is usually made in the "horror" genre. At least he is not filming a compromise.
That being said: LEAVE HALLOWEEN ALONE, Rob. Move along. Although I could not care less if Zombie crapped all over a tie in to the original part 3.
I do hate the idea of Zombie making anything that's not his own work. Although the prospect of him doing a science fiction film is interesting. Give him a chance to prove you wrong before you slam his concept.
That said, if his Blob ends up being great or even pretty good then I'll be the first one to praise it here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sixDADVVnxA
I haven't seen H2 yet. Will judge that later. As for remaking "The Blob" I think Zombie does have a point - a big red blob that slowly moves around isn't that scary. How about this instead - a fast moving, gelatinous creature. It still grows, but instead of piling up into a giant ball of goo, it's more of a fast moving, long, tidal wave of death. Capable of forming arms, claws, a mouth, etc, all this awesome shit to reach into your window, pull you out of your car and eat you. It can surround the building your in and suck you out or smash tentacles through the windows. It is an awesome alien.
Comic fans, think of Venom's symbiote, but on a massive, massive scale. Zombie, if you're reading this - that idea is all for you, buddy.
1000 Corpses and Rejects are both bad movies, period. The only growth evident between the two is in hiring a slightly better casting director. They weren't scary, dark, or profound, just annoying and stupid. I do agree with you for the most part on his Halloween remake. The whole first half with little girl Michael was painful to watch (not in the way Zombie intended either). Once he grew up and started killing it became more bearable.
And the 1988 blob already moved pretty damn fast.
Not a big fan of his films but he's right. A giant blob running after you is not scary, it's laughable. No director today would have the version of the blob we all know in a new version of the film. You'd be shitting all over the film if they did that. We don't need another version of the blob, it was a joke then and still is. All hollywood does now is make remakes.
On a side note, i feel the fact that you are bashing Rob Zombie and his crew ("white trash" as you so kindly put it) is funny coming from you, one who doesn't direct/act nothing really creative or anything. Rob Zombie for a very long time has been doing things that he genuinely likes doing, not in hopes Rob Hunter would love it, not for any other reason than what he wants and likes doing.
You failed as a writer and you're article is disappointing to say the least
WHY NOT HAVE A GELATINOUS ALIEN ACID GOO EATING PEOPLE?! THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE BLOB YOU STUPID NEANDERTHAL LONG HAIRED IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HOLLYWOOD DOES WHEN IT GETS IT'S GRIMY HANDS ON CULT CLASSICS LIKE THE BROOD OR VIDEODROME! I KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE READING THIS THAT AGREES!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T TELL ME THERE'S NOT!!!!!!!
1988 Blob had it right. That movie was disgusting and very frightening at times. There's nothing Zombie can do that will top it. He's derivative at best.