DISQUS

Film School Rejects: In Which an Adult Male Reads Twilight…

  • Michelle Graham · 1 year ago
    Finally it's published! Great article, very nice take on it :D Now run and hide, because you're going to be adored by many many fans for standing up for the male fan base
  • debbie-dub · 1 year ago
    This has got to be the funniest thing I have read in about Twilight! Thank you for that. And thank you for taking the time to read the book. It is refreshing to see a journalist take his work seriously. As a fan of Twilight that falls considerably outside of its YA demographic, I agree that after reading Twilight for the first time I was bogged down in some of the syrupy dialog and dare I say I thought Bella was rather whiney, until I thought back to being 17 myself and realised she was being a typical teenager in so many ways. I do hope you go on to read New Moon and Eclipse as you really need to look at the saga as a whole to realize the brilliance of Stephenie Meyers writing. At TwilightMos.com there are entire threads devoted to what readers missed the first time through the books and another addressing the intricasies and foreshadowing that Ms. Meyers 'hides' within the text of her books. Now, don't go and peek tho'...read the other books first! Again, thank you so much for this wonderful article! I can see your tip list making it to Letterman! Keep up the good work!
  • Miss C · 1 year ago
    Cole, loved your article! It was great to get the "guys" perspective in a creative and thoughtful way. You crack me up when you mentioned having to buy the "Guns and Ammo/ Bloodsport DVD" whilst buying Twilight book. And your Top 10 list was hilarious. TwilightMOMS would like to party with you! Come visit us and we can exchange some witty banter.
  • Bill Brasky · 1 year ago
    Well done Cole! Make sure Josh Radde sees this article ... as he turned down my fiance's patronage to lend him the book!
  • Josh Radde · 1 year ago
    I did not turn it down. I'm still going to read it, but it was Mother's Day and mom wanted to take a gander at it first.
  • Sara · 1 year ago
    I laughed so hard at the end of this article that my roommate thought I was having some sort of attack. Great article! I can't wait for the movie come December, although I will say that I absolutely loathed the trailer--Rob looked like he was either crazy or demented in every single shot.
  • Jcking78 · 1 year ago
    Excellent!! I love how men need to "make up" for reading Twilight, LOL!!! Men liking Twilight seems to be the kind of thing that (unless you're in journalism of any sort) most would only share with their wives and have their wives promise to tell only their closest of friends (because you know we have to tell someone how great our guy is!). Of course, if their wife is a Twilight freak, about 5,000 people will know within minutes of you telling her :) Thanks for the blog/article. Humor (especially man-humor about Twilight) is one of my favorite things!!
  • Laura · 1 year ago
    Thanks for keeping an open mind and reading what is there. According to screen writer Melissa Rosenberg and director Catherine Hardwicke they have not strayed far from the original storyline save for the obvious things that happen when you go from book to screen.
  • debbie-dub · 1 year ago
    Hi Cole, I found you a kindred soul: TwilightGuy.com
    Here's the url: http://www.twilightguy.com/2008/05/12/twilightg...
  • Kim · 1 year ago
    BRAVO...absolutely loved this article! I'm emailing it to my husband...thank you;)
  • Nina · 1 year ago
    Wonderful article! I have one more "top ten." Take notes from Edward and women will fawn all over you!
  • kctjohnson (from Twilight Moms · 1 year ago
    I am definitely pleased to see that the Y-chromosome has not deterred you from reading and enjoying the first book! I must say that this article is, by a long shot, the funniest one I've read pertaining to Twilight! It was truly entertaining to read and I would guess that your tips may help the reluctant male reader (and the closeted ones) to feel better about themselves! Kudos!
  • Rob Hunter · 1 year ago
    Well done Cole! Damn entertaining and smartly written! I admit I tried reading Twilight while standing in the book aisle of Target, and it didn't quite work for me. My girlfriend plans to read it on our upcoming vacation though, so maybe when she's done I'll give it another try. Seems a little big for a beach read, but we'll see...
  • Shei · 1 year ago
    YOU GOT ME WITH THIS: "even as I ate atomic-spicy buffalo chicken wings and slammed cans against my forehead to keep my manliness intact - Twilight was a winner for me" LOL!!!!
    That was soooo funny!!! i LOVED your article!!! you should write something together with twilightguy.com cuz he´s really funny too...

    and i have to agree with NINA: tell the guys to TAKE NOTE FROM EDWARD!!!

    i have to ask: Will you read book 2 and 3?? can´t wait to read your opinion with those! it´s a MUST!!!
  • Steph · 1 year ago
    Definitely a humourous outlook from a man's perspective! My friend and I laughed really
    hard at your Tips for Guys, and I hope you continue to read the rest of the series. Great
    article!
  • Beth · 1 year ago
    My husband and his friends make fun of me to no end about my obsession with the Twilight Series. I was so happy to read your article and get a guys perpective on the book. I have emailed my husband the article and informed him that there are Chuck Noris references to reel him in. Thanks again for the supportive article, I just hope if you read the other books your don't have the "New Moon Break down" that has totally convinced my husband I am insane.
  • Gabby · 1 year ago
    Well good for you, I made my Hubby read it. I asked him to read at least three chapters a day. Yet he sat down and started reading and read 10 chapters in one sitting..why... because he liked it!! mwahahaha.. I knew he would. After making fun of me for my Harry Potter obsession.. and refusing to even crack one of those books.. I wasn't about to take the torment over this series unless he actually read the books first.

    I am glad there is a male who writes articles who has actually decided to read it then speak. I would have been happy even if you didn't like it. at least you would have had something to go on:)

    Welcome to the darkside my friend. Twilight rocks!
  • Allynd Dudnikov · 1 year ago
    Damnit. The Twilighters are here now too!?
  • Kasandra · 1 year ago
    Way to go Cole! Still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes...Do read New Moon and Eclipse as the series just gets better and better. I suspect you have more company than you know as I have a few men friends who are currently reading it. So far they all like it and some even love it though, none are obsessed like I am. Anyway, keep up the good work!
  • sam · 1 year ago
    I am so happy to see an article from a guy that has actually read the book. I really enjoyed
    this. I even emailed to my husband who I have been trying to convince to read the books.
    Thanks for taking the time to read the book, then give your views. And I enjoyed your
    views. They were very open-minded. And my favorite part was the list at the end!
  • Rebekah H. · 1 year ago
    I applaud you for trying to read Twilight. That's a very "manly" thing to do. xD
    And although I'm 20 and a girl, I do know great cars and if a guy does have a 1967 Ford Mustang and happens to read Twilight, I am marrying him right away.
  • Sherrie · 1 year ago
    Okay, Cole,

    That was hysterical. I actually had to send this article to my husband at work. He has sat in the room for many sessions of me reading these books to my two youngest kids (My oldest son read them too!), but has never read them himself. (That isn't new, he reads the scriptures and the newspaper and that's it) You are a very funny writer and it was a joy to read your view. Thanks!
  • Josh Radde · 1 year ago
    Rebekah

    That man's name is Neil Miller and you can tell him how grand a wife you'd make him by emailing neil@filmschoolrejects.com.

    Be sure to incorporate pictures.
  • Josh Radde · 1 year ago
    a wife you'd make FOR him -- not a wife you'd make OF him (that would involve a pretty hefty lifestyle change).
  • Lizzylu · 1 year ago
    :-) Great article and I love hearing you enjoyed Twilight. What a good attitude you have ... wish I could get my husband in the same frame of mind!! ha ha. Keep reading!! You'll miss out if you don't read New Moon & Eclipse!!
  • Rebekah H. · 1 year ago
    Josh -

    Um. I'll have to think about it. xD
    But what color is that Mustang? ;)
  • Faith · 1 year ago
    aha funniest article i have ever read... ur awesome i like u for having the guts to read
    Twilight and have it publish ^-^
    there shuld b more guys like u ... it just shows ur not insecure abt ur man-liness =)
  • Dani · 1 year ago
    Thanks so much for actually reading the book and telling us (quite humorously) that you liked it. My husband and my oldest son (18) read all three and liked them as well. I'll probably even have to let them go with me when I see the movie because both of them have seen the trailer and said it looked cool. Now, go get the other two books and let us know what you think.
  • Robert Fure · 1 year ago
    I've already done all 10 things on that list and that was before I even heard of this book.
  • Amy · 1 year ago
    Oh my goodness... Great article! It's nice to see guys reading the series.
  • Annie J · 1 year ago
    Very funny write up! I love your sense of humor and your courage. My husband won't read Twilight, but that is fine with me. It is my own little world anyway. I am going to leave this article for him to check out. I know he will get a laugh from it.
  • Synessa · 1 year ago
    You are not alone I have official gotten 3 of my guy friends (all in college) to read them and each and everyone one of them has admitt they enjoyed them! The fact that you can admitt to the world wide web you like them makes you a man in my book!
  • Yvette · 1 year ago
    That was a really well writen article of twilight from a guy's pov. I'm glad that you took time to read it. I notice that you mention that you felt that twilight was to centered on the Edward and Bella and not much on the others. Well if you read New Moon and especially Eclipse you learn much about the other characters and there awesome backgrounds. Probably you will end up like me being an expert in Vampire Wars in Mexico and during the Civil War yet nearly failing 11th grade American History..pssh who wants to learn about boring human history anyways?
  • Audrey · 1 year ago
    HAHAHAHA! you are full of win! that was one of the best articles i've ever read - not only because its twilight, and because you're a guy - but everything you say is just classic! i love that you can like the book whilst still being manly =p if it takes 36 oz on steak, a lack of hygiene or several broken (plywood) boards, go ahead- be a 'man' .. but regardless your a better one from reading twilight.
  • Wendy · 1 year ago
    Yeah Cole!!
    Are you ready for the love?? You won't be single for long, and women will love you for digging Edward. Why? Because that's what we all want in a man...and if he glitters in the sun, all the better!! So glad you liked the book! Trust me when I say, NEW MOON will floor you and ECLIPSE will keep you beggin' for more! Just like the rest of us crazed, rabid fans! Thanks for giving it a shot! And Josh, try again. By chapter 3, you're hooked!
  • Evie · 1 year ago
    Twilight Guy i think you are AWESOME!!!!! you are so manly.lol. your witt is hilarious and you are extremely funny. keep on writing. you'll make it to the big time!!! can't wait to read more!!!!!
  • Lindsay · 1 year ago
    I don't think that I have read a funnier article about Twilight. I think your words of wisdom,
    may just have convinced my husband to read at least Twilight, if no the rest, but he will
    probably have to watch American Gladiators and grow that beard! Thanks for making my
    night!
  • Sara · 1 year ago
    Amazing XD I am ecstatic to see a manly man such as yourself read "Twilight" and like it. I givee you ten thumbs up for this article because it is funny and also a great way for the Y-Chromosome to look at the books. Keep writting, man. =]
  • Tanya · 1 year ago
    Bravo!

    Now you should tackle Stardust. ;) Though Neil Gaiman probably isn't much of a challenge on the "manly" scale.
  • Mizra · 1 year ago
    Hahaha. I think this is a great piece (satirical or not) about a guy reading Twilight. Most guys will be surprised throughly that Twilight is a good book, filled with action, suspense, drama, thrills and the occasional Bella "attacking" Edward scenes.
    (If you don't know what I meant, reread chapter thirteen.)

    Overall, good writing and just plain funny. I'll send this to my guy friend (who remains nameless) who enjoyed the books, too. :)
  • Chelsea · 1 year ago
    I really enjoyed your article! Absolutely hilarious, of course. I do know a lot of guys who have read Twilight and love it, so I'm glad there are suddenly a lot of guys online proclaiming that it really is a good book.

    I do think if you read the next two books you might get away from the sticky sweet romance a bit. There's definitely a buttload of action in Eclipse, and there's so much going on that it's rare Edward and Bella get any time to themselves. XD

    I can't wait for the movie, really. I've read a bunch of interviews with the director and screenwriter, and they are really invested in making it as close to the book as possible, but they changed a few things to suit the screen. A lot of Bella's internal dialogue will be spoken... Like, they tried to find ways and situations for her to actually TELL someone that she hated Forks. And stuff like that. I think it'll be spectacular.
  • Cole Abaius · 1 year ago
    Wow! Thanks for all the positive feedback.

    I've been off for a couple days bare-knuckle boxing Tazmanian Devils (something Robert Fure showed me, thanks man), but it's great to return to so much love.

    To answer the question, yes, Neil Miller has a Lavender and Hot Pink 1967 Mustang. I've begged him to repaint it, but he says it makes him feel "pretty". One time he dyed his beard the same colors, and we had to stage an intervention.

    Thanks again, and keep checking back to FSR for more Twilight movie news.
  • Julia · 1 year ago
    Hillarious artical! As everyone else is saying it, I will too---Love and thanks for reading the book! And I'm so glad you liked it! As a 34 year old, I caught myself many times while reading twilight and not able to stop thinking "stupid book!" because I couldn't understand why I was so drawn to the story. Sometimes I still wonder--but I've given up! Have fun reading New Moon and Eclipse--thay are much less sappy--mostly :-)
  • Jessica · 1 year ago
    Cole,

    Your article was truly entertaining and crammed with so much wit, I had no idea where to laugh first. I too was apprehensive to publicly declare my "like" as you say, with Twilight but now I can say " Hi my name is Jess, and I'm a Twilight Addict". Your commentary was hilarious and refreshing to get a guys perspective on a book that appeals to people on so many levels. Hope you enjoy the rest of the series as much, and feel free to do so while eating a bucket of chicken, drinking a beer, and smoking a cigar...while in a flannel shirt(brawny man style):)

    BTW- What's this fascination with Chuck Norris? Two guys I recently spoke with referenced Chuck" Texas Ranger" Norris. Is it mandatory to watch CN movies in Gym class or what?????
  • Andrea · 1 year ago
    I'm pretty sure I almost died of laughter while reading this. I'm glad you liked it, more guys should read it. Personally, Twilight is the best book ever. No question. And I proudly say that I am in fact addicted and I am nearing spontaneous combustion from Twilight movie excitement! I find it strange that I love it so much, because my friends practically forced me to read it, nine and a half hours later (no food, no nothing) I finished reading Twilight and was frantically calling my friend to bring me the next one!
    So, yeah. Loved the article. And have fun reading the rest of the series. ^.^
  • Julia · 1 year ago
    I think I also love that your artical is so well-done that no real hate-posts have been entered yet! :-) Or maybe they are on the way--I hope not!!!
  • Emmi · 1 year ago
    hilarious man! loved it! keep up the great work! x)
  • Kitten · 1 year ago
    Thanks, Cole, it's a great read! I think guys should pay attention and get ready to take their sweetie to the movie because Edward is going to be the love interest of all things female come December!! Maybe it's time to take some hints from Edward since he is so irresistable!! And, I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of 'New Moon', 'Eclipse' and in August 'Breaking Dawn'!! Love your sense of humor -give us more!! >"< . . .
  • debbie-dub · 1 year ago
    Hi Cole, here's another MALE's story about liking Twilight. The numbers are growing every day:
    http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bl...
  • Darla · 1 year ago
    Hi Cole, i enjoyed reading your article! Hopefully it will inspire other manly men to pick up a good romance story. Your article is funny enough to entice my male friends to give it a try! I look forward to the movie! Thanks!
  • IrishTea · 1 year ago
    I love how you bought a car magazine along with Twilight. I mean, gotta keep your reputation, right? haha. Very entertaining article, hope to read more from you!
  • frankie · 1 year ago
    Cole, you're brave, wonderful and adored for going public. The article was a joy to read and
    the tips at the end had me falling out of my chair laughing.
  • Emma K · 1 year ago
    Cloe, I am absolutly in love with you! :) Seriously, I believe that you have to be one of the bravest guys I have ever met! I love these books, and it is great to get a guys insites on how he believes the book to be. It's really great. Try to get more of "Your kind" to read, I know I am. :)

    Oh, and I agree with Sara on the whole "Rob" thing. He did look like he was crazy in every single shot. *sigh* But the movie does seem intriguing .
  • Kelsey · 1 year ago
    The fluff addicts me, but it's not good literature. I'd rather be reading Asimov or Tolkien or C.S. Lewis. But the fluff addicts me. And, well, when it came to the two sides of me - the side that hates gender stereotypes v. the side that finds humor in the whole I DID THESE OVER-THE-TOP ACTIVITIES TO STAY A GUY! RAWRRRR!.... the latter won. Hah! And check this out!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs
  • Kelsey · 1 year ago
    Ack, sorry, forgot to add something - I swear to God, if anybody ever treated me like Edward treats Bella... Yeah, BYE. I'm all for the romantic rescuing, swoon, but I'm fiercely independent in that way, and if a significant other EVER tried to dictate what I could and could not do... Doesn't matter that he's right. It's alllllll in the attitude, and what really drives me nuts is her acceptance of it.
  • MaDdY KaY · 1 year ago
    OME(oh my edward)!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!!!!????? I WOULD KILL TO MEET SOMEONE LIKE EDWARD!!!!!! ALSO, TWILIGHT IS THE BEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN AND NOTHING, I REAPEAT, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH IT IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!!!! YOU ALL NEED TO REALIZE THAT TWILIGHT IS AWSOME AND THAT IS THE END OF THAT!!!!!!!!!

    Ok I'm done...

    Anyway, Cole i think that it's awsome that you are reading the books, i mean they are just for teen girls, they are for eveybody. I cannot think of a better book serious then these. Oh and you know how you were complaining about all of the romantic stuff, well in the second book there is a lot less of that *sniff* and in the third there is also more fighting so no need to worry about your manlyness or whatnot.
  • MaDdY KaY · 1 year ago
    Oops there were a bunch of mistakes in that last post, whatever...
  • Lisa · 1 year ago
    HilARIous!! My 17 y-old son nagged me into reading these books--DON"T STOP AT TWILIGHT!--and now I obsessively read them over and over. It's a sickness.

    Anyway your "Tips" made me LOL til I cried. My dog was even looking at me funny.

    Cole, make the KnC reimburse you so you can move on to New Moon and keep writing!
  • Melissa · 1 year ago
    haha BEST article I've read in a while. I love your tips for guys at the end... priceless

    Glad to hear of a male fan!!
  • Elena · 1 year ago
    Good job Cole! I really enjoyed what you wrote. As a "TwilightMOM" thank you for taking the time to read "Twilight." I was wondering what "real" men would think about the books. I think Stephenie Meyer did a great job of weaving a modern-day, love-story fantasy filled with enough action that would appeal to men also. I am so looking forward to the movie - as I am sure you are.

    Take care and keep writing!
  • Shannan · 1 year ago
    Cole...you are one funny guy! I'm glad to see that you liked the book. You must read New Moon and Eclipse, it only gets better and better. My husband has read all three and he can't stop talking about them.....except of course when he's popping the tops off of beer bottles with his teeth or taking hits in the gut from his friend Hanz...gotta stay manly ya know.
  • Brittney H · 1 year ago
    I really loved this article. It's nice to see guys reading Twilight and showing the world that it's not just another "girly romance novel". It really has many facets, just like a book should. I think you and the TwilightGuy would get along very well : )

    And excellent macho tips, I actually want to try a few myself and see how "macho" I get haha.
  • zane · 1 year ago
    excellent blog post, i too a man in mid 20's picked up the book at the airport and had read
    half of it by the end of my transatlantic flight. I did feel stupid when two 12 year old girls in
    the security line at the airport were also carrying the book. but you know what, i
    appreciated the escapism this book offered, even though tis for much younger readers it
    made me feel young again and yeah edward is a total hero.
  • Lancet Dispatch · 1 year ago
    Dude, where were you when I was reading the book? I coulda used these tips! Great article, by the way.
  • Crystal · 1 year ago
    Great article. I love that he made me laugh also. Movie date has been moved up!
    11/21/08!!!
  • Garrett · 1 year ago
    okay i am a fifteen year old MALE a sophomore in high-school. my english teacher got me
    into books after we had to read the Outsiders last year i have read a vast range of books
    since then she actually turned me onto twilight i am just about finished just started chapter
    21. And im not no nerd or acne covered goth (no offense) actually i wrestle and play
    baseball i just thought i show some support to the fellow male twilight reader. lol p.s. the
    article was funny as hell.
    peace, Garrett
  • vianess · 1 year ago
    wow i loved the article!!!!! it is great!!!
    it made me laught a lot!!!
    and guys believe me... many of you are going to be loved by girls if you read twilight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Wendilynn · 1 year ago
    That was a great article. I love the smart alec asides. The Grease 3 comment killed me and I loved your list of manly things to do while reading Twilight. I"m new to this website but love the sense of humor. Keep it up.
  • Riley · 1 year ago
    *siiigh*
    Shit. Looks like I'll have to give it a second go.
  • gaby · 1 year ago
    wow how great
  • HAGE · 1 year ago
    i love the breaking a board with ur fist tip. shall get my hands on the book soon.
  • MOOOOSH · 11 months ago
    I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE EMMET!!(:
  • imagiyn · 11 months ago
    edward ur the finest most sexy dude i have ever seen i luv u and im ur biggest fane i would luv to marry u if i could well hope to see u in really life one day
  • Hannah · 10 months ago
    I love twilight! Edward is my favorite vampire! Then Alice for second!!! Bella is so lucky! I hope you write more Stephanie!!
  • amber · 8 months ago
    i really like this move i just have to see it ever night no mater what is up i just have to see it and
    i just love this move i love all the people that play in it to and i want to see that they make a 2 one to because that would be so cool
  • Ashley · 6 months ago
    I LOVE TWILIGHT! I'M GETTING MY BOOK TODAY! xD : Me and my friend are starting a book club about it
  • MasenBLack · 1 week ago
    Hello wow never read something Like that articLe. EVER. HAHAHAHA as a feLLow maLe TwiLight fan, i do appreciate the fact that you came out with this on the worLd wide web to show your Liking for the series. But i must critique you on the things you list for me to do while reading this book. I, as A SERIOUSLY HARDCORE MALE TWILIGHTER, am not at aLL ashamed to admit that im a fan of this fantastic series. Listing these may show that you are stilll insecure about what people think and that is utter nonsense. If they think you're gay, which i am definitely not, then who gives a freaken crap?? It's their loss that they're not reading these novels. Stephenie Meyer is such an amazing author in the way that she portrays each of her characters. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. I recommend purchasing a Twilight-based shirt or 2 just to show your spirit. GO TEAM SWITZERLAND!! (hopefully you've read the rest of the series if you don't understand that)