DISQUS

Chris · 9 months ago

Would it be okay to chop up the people into little tiny pieces at home, and spread the pieces on the highway as you drive cross country, so the evidence gets destroyed?

Sad thing is, that was an idea my dad came up with if he ever were to kill my mom. I dunno wether to be proud my father has a contingency plan in case of divorce, or frightened that he has a contingency plan in case of divorce.

gnar · 9 months ago

Isolated cabin in the woods. When you are done, toss the "scraps" outside and let the animals take care of the evidence.

Grant · 9 months ago

In the arctic and spread his body parts around the snow.

J_Seed · 9 months ago

i would set up a fake snuff movie poster in an old movie theater and accept people who are interested. When they come in, I'd slice them up with some piano strings I had set up while the film starts up. If I wanted to torture them before, I would probably set up the movie theater with them. imagine 2000 steel wires installed in each room pulled at once, to kill them all.

Rick · 9 months ago

At work. I'd have to murder that one customer that is an absolute moron and completely rude. I'd chop them up and leave them in front of my manager as I walk out.

Chris · 9 months ago

Provided that I had a way of transporting a body, I could theoretically murder anyone, anywhere. As far as disposing the bodies, I'd definitely use some kind of large meat grinder. If you've ever seen the Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel, then you know how the deckhands grind up fish to bait crab. I'd take my victims out to sea, cut 'em up, grind them in the bait grinder, and dump them... or go fishing...

Dang, I could buy a big-ass boat outfitted with a harpoon and fish for great white sharks or something.
Now that would be badass.

ellen cunningham · 9 months ago

I'd do it in the meat room of the grocery store down the street. I'd sell it real cheap. It would really help out the economy.

greg · 9 months ago

barker rules, i love everything he produces and writes

Lyndsey H · 9 months ago

Basement of this retirement home I sometimes work at. It's creepy as hell down there, the staff is scared of it and everyone thinks it's haunted. It's totally horror movie worthy!

lynxo · 9 months ago

At a junkyard. Put their body in the trunk of a car and have the car shredded.

OLeary · 9 months ago

Chop them up in the woods and take each part to a different location miles away from one another, (lake, buried, incenerators....)

sanchez · 9 months ago

I would murder them in public and play it up to be an elaborate street theater piece with heavy prop usage. The chopping up would be covered by the 'fact' that the victims are life-sized props. People would stop by, applaud, give me money even.

Jordan · 9 months ago

New Jersey.

kheas · 9 months ago

i would find an old abandoned missle silo and start piling up the bodies. I mean, those things are supossed to be pretty damn deep!!!

Raz · 9 months ago

Nowhere, I aint no Dahmer! But I'd love to win..

chip008 · 9 months ago

I would chop people up on the Internet! I would start a blog, sadisticdesires.blogspot.com, and post videos of me choping, slicing, ripping, and cutting up this weeks victim. Hopefully, the blog would rise in popularity, and i would start a sister site, sadismsingles.net, a dating site for fans of my blog.

DMuff · 9 months ago

I would do it up in my awesome and elaborate tree house, I will feed the remains to my pack of ultra cute and cuddly but also human meat loving dachshunds. I will use the fecal matter created by the dachshunds to fertilize my garden while also marketing and selling the fertilizer to a town that is at least an hour away from me.

Lauren · 9 months ago

I would murder people in a cave and chop up their bodies in the tunnels. Then I would take them to the edge of a cliff and dump them so that they fall into a raging river at the bottom of the cliff where piranhas are waiting to feed on them.

CapKwik · 9 months ago

In an old abandond warehouse. *uses best serial killer/interior designer impression* I could make this room my office, oh oh oh and we could use RED. YES RED! Everywhere RED! And it would of course be near the train tracks to drown out the horrified screams.

kuscuba · 9 months ago

I would murder people in a zoo. Chop up their bodies in what they think is an amphibian exhibit because of how dark it is. I would then feed the pieces to the animals.

FilmMaker8706 · 9 months ago

I would create a new identity, set up my own barbershop, kill my unsuspecting customers then send their bodies down to the basement to be chopped up, grinded and baked into pies to be sold and consumed by the unsuspecting masses. TOTALLY original idea. As American as apple pie. human apple pie...

Curt · 9 months ago

At a chinese foods resturaunt. who would know the difference?

Anthony R · 9 months ago

The ball pit at chuck e. cheese seems like a viable place for body part dumping

judy brittle · 9 months ago

At a movie studio letting everyone think I was filming Texas Chainsaw Massacre No. 36. Post an ad for all the wannabe actors and finish them off one by one live on camera. The clean up crew would get rid of the bodies for me.

Peter · 9 months ago

I would probably push somebody off of a cruise ship at sea. Nobody ever gets caught doing that. How hard would it be to install cameras on these boats.

Zeebs · 9 months ago

I would murder people in their own homes but before murdering everyone, I would keep one or two alive and then I would chop up their dead family members. I would then grill their body parts and force the living members of the family to eat the body parts. After they are done eating, i would them murder and chop up the rest and put them in the fireplace and burn the evidence.

Pauly Walnuts · 9 months ago

Satriale's Pork Store and Meat Market
The boy's from Jersey know best.

murrayb3024 · 9 months ago

In the movie theatre showing "Austrailia", although finding a victim could be tough. Would also allow for the evidence to not be found for weeks until the movie is replaced with something else. By then the peices could resemble Dots candy.

Pete · 9 months ago

In my sound proof basement that doubles as a holding cell for door to door salesmen as well as the perfect location for my underground dog fighting ring. I then let the dogs pick the bones clean and burn what's left to ash in my industrial furnace. On a side note, the burning of bones heats up my oven to the perfect temp. to cook my favorite jelly filled pastries.

Teresa Warner · 9 months ago

I would do it at the Oscar Mayer factory where they make hot dogs, who would know the difference.

Grant · 9 months ago

I'd do it on a long flight from LA to Bangkok. Slowly start pulling passengers from the back of the plane and chop them up in the bathroom. When I'm all done I'd flush them down the super-sucker toilet.

Sarah · 9 months ago

Probably on this creepy floor, 2R. It's a 6x6 room off of an elevator in a dorm. There's a locked closet too, so I'd have to get the key, but it seems perfect.

Phillip · 9 months ago

I'd be like Dexter Morgan, and dispose of the bodies from my boat and into the ocean.

Ralph Siegel · 9 months ago

What a creepy question!! Why can't we all just get along!! Having said that, how about in the kitchen used by the Film School Rejects!!

Shannon Sanford · 9 months ago

I'd murder and chop people up after hours in a funeral home. First I'd embalm them just to get rid of the blood. Then chop 'em up, adding the remains in either the caskets of the routine burials or mixing the parts into those bodies heading out to the crematory. By day a normal funeral director and by night a murderess plotting away...just don't get on my bad side ;-)

Killian · 9 months ago

Wherever Brett Ratner lives.

tiffany pettey · 9 months ago

id kill them in the woods.......the backwoods like relative to the woods in wrong turn

daniel · 9 months ago

morturary. hard to find out who was killed and if it was foul play. would look like its just another cadaver.another day at the office

kelvin hobson · 9 months ago

A hospital morgue,where else?

Daniel M · 9 months ago

we have an isolated yard, toss 'em out in the swamp out back for the fishes

keith james · 9 months ago

send her on a cruise, they seem to lose passengers quite effectively

Film School Student · 9 months ago

I would murder people on the set of a horror movie, seems like there would be a lot of good places to hide the evidence. PS I stole this idea from TROMA.

b13irteen · 9 months ago

a subwa... dammit. a subway restaurant? who would know the difference? amirite? *sigh*

belinda pearson · 9 months ago

Poison would be the way to go. Afterward you could chop them up and feed them to a bunch of pigs.

Shaun · 9 months ago

I would murder people out on a boat in the middle of the ocean and feed their parts to the sharks

Julie · 9 months ago

On a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean

kmhamilton · 9 months ago

Murder people who commit crimes, but cannot be convicted because of a technicality. Cut up the corpse, burn it, throw ashes in the ocean.

Barbara McCrea · 9 months ago

A meat freezer, but they would have to be de-boned and the bones would have to be sawed into pieces and disposed of

Anne · 9 months ago

hmm, well I'd murder them right here in my apartment, cut them up while they were in my bathtub (with a sharp knife of course) no power tools in my murder book. After the flesh was cut into chunks, I'd put them into little freezer bags and freeze them individually. Over the next few months or so, I'd take out a few frozen bits and go for a long drive up island, and chuck em out the window (of course after I'd taken the frozen flesh from the bag) I'm sure the bear, cougars et al would love a free meal. I'd then drive down to a very isolated beach with the leftover bags, fill them with pebbles and chuck em into the water. Oh, I'd mortor and pestle the bones and chuck them in the ocean as well, or mix the bone powder in the some bird food to feed the ducks.

This is not part of my answer, but I live on Vancouver Island and people have been finding FEET washed up on the beach during the last few years......I think they've found 6 or 7 and have identified just 1 pair of feet (I think) This scenario could already be taking place somewhere around me with the amount of unclaimed feet they've been finding around here.

william causey · 9 months ago

i would kill them right here at home in my basement,then i would chop them up in my wood chipper and use them to feed my tomatoes

Marc · 9 months ago

I'd murder them in a hospital then chop them up in the morgue so it can be blamed on "mad doctors...but, seriously...

meredith · 9 months ago

I'd chop them up in the abandoned barn down the street. Geez, that sounds creepy.

mverno · 9 months ago

in my lonely dank cellar

david basile · 9 months ago

the sausage factory of course

Sylvia Belle · 9 months ago

I would chop them in a leaf chopper and spread them in the lawn for fertlizer.

agordon10 · 9 months ago

Really Subway is out of bounds...guess it'd have to be done at Quiznos then...happy eats!

Rhonda Struthers · 9 months ago

I would probably do it at a butchers. They are used to blood and guts. Could probably trash the cut up corpse among the animal carcass.

Janice Golden · 9 months ago

The meat market nobody would be able to tell you where in there

Jim W. · 9 months ago

I have a shed that is perfect for this venture

Christine · 9 months ago

I'd try the landfill; with all the seagulls and other critters, the evidence wouldn't be around for long. Thanks!

Bradley C. · 9 months ago

I'd do it in an amusement park haunted house, then chop the bodies up right in front of visitors, and of course the admission would be free of charge ...

Louis Huf · 9 months ago

somewhere deep in the woods...

Angela J · 9 months ago

I'd hire someone and let them decide

Jason · 9 months ago

I would do it in a few places. In front of a police station for one. They would never suspect you then. Second would be in a haunted house. You could do it in plain sight and no one would think twice. Third would be outside of a school, because if you are cutting up bodies, then you don't care if you are warping a future generation of manglers.

jayne · 9 months ago

I would kill them in the woods behind my house and drop them quickly into the retaining pond!! Wanna come visit?

dragonmum · 9 months ago

As a former RenFaire employee I have several combat-ready medieval weapons around the house... swords, axes, super-sharp daggers, you get the idea. Between those & my kitchen knives, I think I'd probably be good chopping up anybody who managed to tick mild-mannered-ol'-me that much in my own house. And no lie, we used to live across the street from a glass-blower who told us the furnace he used has to burn so hot, nearly anything you stick in that fire just vaporizes. heh heh heh heh......

Linda Chaput · 9 months ago

GRIND AND CHOP THEM UP AND DISPOSE THE MEAT AND BONE IN AN INCINERATOR TO RID OF EVERY CLUE.

Patricia Simpkin · 9 months ago

Oh, my god, I can't even think about it. This sounds like a freaky movie!

Christy G. · 9 months ago

In the basement of a remote farmhouse. Can't hear screams there.

Bob Barton · 9 months ago

The dirty deed would be done in my storage shed...very secluded

flameyheadgear · 9 months ago

Helicopter. Fly over the ocean and drop the chunks for the sharks to eat.

colten edwards · 9 months ago

in the old garage and then we'd just dump em down the old cistern that out back in our yard - its quite deep and well sealed

Doug · 9 months ago

I would slaughter them right here in my basement and bury them out back in the woods.

David · 9 months ago

It might be handy to own a sausage factory, then you could say you were taking them on a tour and dispose of them there plus make some bratwurst to boot.

Mary B · 9 months ago

The most logical places would be a butcher shop, meat packing plant or slaughter house, as you have all the tools of the trade at your disposal (pun intended)

The Blockbuster Guy · 9 months ago

I would make the people do it themselves. Leave a saw in a room where they are chained up and their life is threatened. If I could have only thought of this sooner.

Jennifer Hedden · 9 months ago

I would murder them in the woods

Douglas R. Cobb · 9 months ago

Wendy's chili, anyone? It has only the freshest cuts of meat in it! Yes, I would murder the Management Trainer prospects in the back room, after installing a floor drainage system, of course, and a meat locker, and viola--Bobby Flay would be envious of my haute cuisine!

Dave · 9 months ago

My parents have a farm. We could grind up the bodies and use them for fertilizer. When folks ask why our crops taste so good, we'll just say it's a family secret. Thanks for the cool give-away.

Keith · 9 months ago

Start a gourmet pet food store and make me victims into Tender Vittels.

Robin · 9 months ago

I would butcher them in my basement and open a fast food restaurant. I'd use the slogan where's the beef.

ky2here · 9 months ago

I would kill them in the great outdoors and let the scavengers have at them. Other than that, I could use the parts for Rachael Ray's garbage bowls.

Michael Paul · 9 months ago

Despite it not being perfect, the woodchipper concept is still the best idea. Perhaps located 10 miles or so off the beaten path, and some way to run the remains through a few times so things like identifiable toenails get processed properly...

Jayme Isaacs · 9 months ago

I Would Murder People In My House And Chop The Bodies Up And Throw The Corpses In The River

Roger Deming · 9 months ago

great idea for a film. know some people that should be on the train.

Samantha · 9 months ago

I'd lure them to the cement factory outside of town kill them and chop them up there. Then I'd add the pieces into the cement feeder and add their crushed remains to the cement being sold.

Kathy Conley · 9 months ago

In a barn with a nearby feed chopper

Don · 9 months ago

I would kidnap and take victim to isolated place out in the country that also had a lake nearby. I would put the bodies through a chipper with the machine pointed toward the water, so that all the pieces land in the water to be fish food.

John · 9 months ago

In the desert

gina snow · 9 months ago

i would,in an old abandoned cemetary,no one visits anymore,and there's alot of them

christopher h · 9 months ago

there must be a slaughterhouse in my area, couldn't i just do it there? they'd be all set up for it anyway

MBI · 9 months ago

ummm nowhere. I would be the person getting chased as I screamed at the top of my lungs. As I tripped and fell, my demise would quickly come. Since I love cleaning the house it is only appropriate that I would die there, then be choppped up, staining forever the carpet I try so hard to keep clean

Ed Nemmers · 9 months ago

In a Melanie Griffith DVD collection

jason fiske · 9 months ago

Oh man...fantastic question. I would murder them in a hot air ballon and scatter their parts over the swiss alps

Annemarie · 9 months ago

In a forest and leave the parts for the animals to eat.

Leann S · 9 months ago

I would do it in jail. Find the inmates that don't get mail or visitors and slowly weed them out. You could continue to count them in the population for reimbursement purposes. Plus as a bonus you could cut your cafeteria costs with all that free meat.

cathleen nash · 9 months ago

In a Wal Mart- complete redneck style :)

Buddy Garrett · 9 months ago

I would murder people in my Winnebago as I travel around America. Nobody would suspect such a nice grandfather.

Crystal · 9 months ago

I'd get a really dumpy car, and take the person I was going to murder for a joy ride out into the middle of nowhere. Preferably near some cave area on a isolated mountain. I'd chop them up, feed the remains to some hungry pigs or animals. due away with the car - burn it, sink it, junk it or something like that. And take a taxi back to town. than leave the country, just in case.

kathy pease · 9 months ago

THE SUPERMARKET MEAT ROOM :)~~

Geoff K · 9 months ago

Well, if the subway itself is off limits, how about a Subway restaurant instead? Could make for a cool "Meat Train"/"Sweeney Todd" hybrid sequel, and I'm guessing that the meat would taste better than Subway's current offerings. To top it off, the first victim could be the ubiquitous spokesperson Jared! :)

Marcy Strahan · 9 months ago

I would dump them in the Bayou for the gators to eat!

phillip stacy · 9 months ago

Only in a movie.

Sandy M · 9 months ago

At the zoo. Drag them into a broom closet until after closing. Chop 'em up and feed 'em to the tigers.

Jon · 9 months ago

There's no better place than dollar-day at the zoo. It's cheap, there's no one around, and you can feed the pieces to the innocent chimps, increasing their desire for human flesh!

margie · 9 months ago

if i ever murdered anyone, i would chop their bodies into small pieces, and tie each piece high into a tree with wire in the middle of nowhere.

Emory Brooks · 9 months ago

Working at a hotel, chop of the bodies in the bathroom tub, be sure to wear cleaning crew clothes just like painters use. Afterwards take the body parts and the dirty cleaning items (of course be sure to triple bag the items in black bags - and use one bag per limb) and throw them into the trash compacter. At this point the bathroom should be fairly clean because you picked everything up and washed the area with bleach, have housekeeping clean the rest of the room and be ready for the next kill. *Reasons for bagging limbs in different bags because if you were ever caught the law wouldnt be able to get you for murder because there is not a full body---but the truth is that no one would ever catch you because the plan is too perfect*

Melanie · 9 months ago

I would definitely do it on a boat out on the ocean in shark infested water..

Lee · 9 months ago

I'd lure them to my ice fishing hut on a frozen lake near Stephen King's house in upstate, or is it down east, Maine. After killing them, I would let the body freeze to make it easier and less messy, to cut up. As I cut up the body, I would drop each piece through the ice fishing hole inside my hut. The perfect plan, perfect I tell you... HAHAHA

Jamielee Kimball · 9 months ago

On a farm, and feed the evidence to the pigs...they can eat every human body part...

Mark W · 9 months ago

i would pull a "Dexter" on them, except burn them in an incenerator rather than dump them in the water.....

Todd · 9 months ago

I would slice the body up into think slices and eat them with a side of favre beans

Killian Blount · 9 months ago

Who needs a dumping spot when you can just eat the bodies? Of course you'd need to be somewhat picky in who you kill (Better Meat) and when you kill (Takes a while to eat a human corpse). Trust me, I would know...