DISQUS

Film School Rejects: Boiling Point: Kids Ruin Everything

  • Dan · 6 months ago
    yeah, i agree. Just saw terminator and the little girl served no purpose. Wouldn't you think a little girl would be just a little afraid of explosions and gunfire?
  • Davebaxter1989 · 6 months ago
    The good - T2, Temple of Doom (Shortround was hilarious), Funny Games, The Shining, Step Brothers...

    The bad - The Day The Earth Stood Still...
  • GuiltyTrace · 6 months ago
    Edward Furlong doesn't count. He was 13 in T2. Granted, he played a ten-year old, and granted he was kind of a whiny-ass, he wasn't a baby/child actor like that stupid kid in Salvation. He was John-friggin-Connor. Plus he knocked over ATMs. Kids don't understand money and arcade games - adults and John Connor do.
  • Davebaxter1989 · 6 months ago
    But all those reasons are why he defies the rule. 13 year olds are kids and proof is in the fact most 13 year olds are annoying. John Connor though is badass always.
  • _Christopher_M · 6 months ago
    being someone born in 84...always thought the timeline of T2 was always sketchy...I mean when it came out I was in grade 1 and John was supposed to be born in 85...so when was this movie supposed to be set in? if he's 10 than it's 1996 and Judgement Day was a year away...
  • _Christopher_M · 6 months ago
    being someone born in 84...I always thought the timeline of T2 was always sketchy...I mean when it came out I was in 1st grade and John was supposed to be born in 85...so when was this movie supposed to be set in? if he's 10 than it's 1996 and Judgement Day was a year away...I've always been confused about Cameron's concept of time with that movie...
  • RobertFure · 6 months ago
    Terminator 2 takes place in 1995 and John is 10 years old. Terminator 1 took place in 1984. John was conceived in May 1984 and was born on February 28th, 1985. Judgement Day is supposed to happen on August 29, 1997, but due to the actions of T2, was delayed until July 24th, 2004, when John is supposed to be 21, though T3 history makes him younger. T4 is in 2018 with John being 35.

    But anyway, I don't mind Edward Furlong in T2. He was a good actor. He was 13, which is leaving the nagging kid age. Most of the kids I hate are in the 4-9 range because they're utterly helpless.
  • harold · 6 months ago
    man on fire. dakoda fanning. action-ish flick, not entirely implausible is it? but you're right i hate kids. the sixth sense was about the damn kid so you can't really blame that either. but you're right, for the most part i hate em. ie 28 weeks later: those stupid shit kids ruined everything and still managed to survive...at least so we're led to believe. then again, they had no business making another 28 ____ later film if danny boyle wasn't at the director's helm.
  • Davebaxter1989 · 6 months ago
    In fairness he produced and was very involved so its hardly a Jaws 2 situation. He helped develop it and talked it up heartily. Thats not to say I wouldn't prefer a Boyle version but just that it wasn't a bastardization.
  • RobertFure · 6 months ago
    Man on Fire is a good example as how kids work - Dakota Fanning did nothing except get kidnapped. She was helpless, like she would really be. Now if Dakota somehow eluded her captors and set fire to their hideout, I'd be pissed.
  • Nitroslippers · 6 months ago
    Another good counter point, there not all bad eg. Aliens
  • Davebaxter1989 · 6 months ago
    Might be unpopular but I effin hated Newt.
  • Burns · 6 months ago
    What about Leon? Natalie Portman wasnt too bad in that
  • Ian · 6 months ago
    i don't go to the movie to see what would actually happen if you threw a kid in a jungle full of Dinosaurs, or a post apocalyptic world. That's why it's a movie. If you look at anything too hard you can find flaws in it. I could say "Bad guys who don't stay dead ruin movie" and argue that in real life people stay dead no matter how scary or psychotic they are. If i want to see what really happens to little kids in real life i'll watch 5 Little Girls or Hardball.
  • Tenika · 6 months ago
    Robert,
    I love you. I HATE kids in movies. Unless they're evil and they're killing people like in that really old movie The Bad Seed.
  • Osmondt · 6 months ago
    Agreed. Although the little girl in "City of the Lost Children" was cool, so was the girl from "The Professional."

    When I clicked on the link, I thought it was going to be about how kids are screwing up movies by making studios aim for more tame ratings. Or how studios get away with shoveling shit out for them like Ice Age 4 or Shrek 3.
  • Jake · 6 months ago
    Paper Moon. The end.
  • Davebaxter1989 · 6 months ago
    I've got to say its a great film but easily picked apart like why'd skynet not go waaaaaaaaay back in time and kill his predecessors in a technology-less time?
  • swisschez · 6 months ago
    the best child performance i have ever seen in a movie to this date is Catinca Untaru as the little girl Alexandria in Tarsem Singh's "The Fall." not only is that movie the most beautiful I have seen, Untaru was just mesmerizing...in a cute, innocent kind of way.
  • tmccar20 · 6 months ago
    Christan Bale was a child actor. Maybe the title should be "kids generally ruin everything." On a side note, babies really do ruin everything, if anything has a baby in it, then that is over. TV show, movie, and video game, if a baby shows up its ruined.
  • cmoney · 6 months ago
    Children of Men? kind of a good movie.
  • _Christopher_M · 6 months ago
    she was one of the reasons Salvation was disappointing in certain moments...her scenes were the worst, since she had some some oddball sixth sense for the machines...

    when it comes to the Jurassic Park films it seems the children in trouble is the plot devise for the films...I have to agree with the time old tradition of not working with animals and kids they slow down or ruin an adult film...
  • cmoney · 6 months ago
    While I do agree that in some movies, kids ruin things. However, to say they ruin everything is a grand exaggeration. Let the Right One In was incredible and like some people said above, Man on Fire was brilliant in my humble opinion. Others I enjoy are The Orphanage and City of God is a personal favorite of all time.
  • Chris · 6 months ago
    His point was they serve no purpose in action movies. Oh, and the characters in Let The Right One In were like 12-14 age range, not like this I dunno, 7 or 8 year old girl in Salvation.
  • Ape tooth · 6 months ago
    I bet you really hate Spy Kids. But I do think there are a few kid actors out there who have acting ability, that little girl from Narnia was pretty good (the first not the crappy second one), all the harry potter kids did decently, and that demented girl from The Exorcist. But I totally agree with you, I hate when kids screw up everyone's lives in movies and all they get is a slap on the wrist, if that.

    On a side note: Dakota Fanning is the most annoying child actor....screaming all throughout War of the Worlds, being a snotty, know-it-all brat all throughout Push, and ew..Uptown Girls...yuck.
  • Jack · 6 months ago
    The Sixth Sense?
  • Tron · 6 months ago
    agreed.

    kids stick to KIDS movies. leave adults (or at the least late teen) actors in adult aimed movies.
  • Cole_Abaius · 6 months ago
    Not a "Flowers in the Attic" fan, Fure? I doubt that.
  • flameyheadgear · 6 months ago
    Oh God. I have an ex who swore nothing ruined a movie like a Spunky (Precocious / Snotnosed / Lippy / Fuckin' Annoying) Kid.
  • Garanimal · 6 months ago
    I loved Salvation and the kid didn't bother me.

    The kid in that abomination THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (remake) on the other hand, ugh.
  • Chris · 6 months ago
    I couldn't agree more Robert, excellent article...and damn funny too! I didn't hate Salvation as much as you guys (I gave it a C+), but your point about the girl being useless couldn't be more right.
  • Tivius · 6 months ago
    He's right in general, but lets not forget little Newt in Aliens 2; totally functional, and honestly a fun character - even if she was monsterbait. Girl delivered smoe classic lines ("most-ly"), and she genuinely managed to look Freaked the F- out throughout most of the movie. Points.

    Of course, for every Newt - there's an Anakin. Holy hell.
  • Matt · 6 months ago
    One good example of a good kid in an action film?

    The Feral Kid - MAD MAX 2:THE ROAD WARRIOR
  • Tat106 · 6 months ago
    I understand what Robert's talking about but musing about no one having sex post-Judgement Day is a weak rant. "Fast Forward" to 2029 (the first "Terminator"), Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) finishes his patrol and returns to base. After signing in, who's pretending to "play fight" him and also chasing rats for food? That's right, kids!

    Newsflash, even during the worst of times, people have sex and have babies. You'd think even more folks would be making babies given humanity is on the brink of extinction.
  • Mash · 6 months ago
    It all depends on whether the kid adds to the film or not. That girl in Pan's Labyrinth did a good job, and so did Christian Bale in Empire of the Sun. However, you're right in that most of the time they're just plain stupid and annoying.

    You mentioned Jurassic Park. That girl is supposedly smart enough to be a hacker, but too stupid to realize that shining a flashlight directly into the face of a T-Rex isn't such a good idea. I remember first watching that movie when I was younger than both of those kids and thinking to myself "don't turn on the flashlight you idiot!". Sometimes even kids hate kids in action movies.
  • ERoBB · 6 months ago
    GREAT POINT. Kids in film, generally bad.
  • Bethany P · 5 months ago
    :) funnytrue
  • sonmyd-link · 5 months ago
    dakota fanning in war of the worlds......enough said, quite possible the most annoying character in any film i have every seen, kids need to get out of acting in real movies and stick to films on the disney channel
  • Dan W · 5 months ago
    Watch The Fall. Greatest child actress you will ever see. But I agree that kids usually can ruin movies.
  • Michael S. · 5 months ago
    Ummm.... Leon? (A.K.A The Professional) Don't tell me that child Natalie Portman detracted from that film.